Kylo Ren's New Pet
by Spaghetti Writer
Summary: One dreary, pouring afternoon on an alien planet, Darth Vader's grandson finds a new pet pigeon. This is my FanFiction debut.


A Star Wars Mini-Fanfiction

I DO NOT OWN LUCASFILM OR DISNEY.

It was a dark, dreary day on the _Finalizer_. A freak lightning storm had hit the _Resurgent_ -class Star Destroyer and caused a power outage. Computer screens blinked off, overhead lights died as the emergency ones came on, droids shut down, and worst of all, the Wi-Fi was out. Stormtroopers were standing here and there fruitlessly trying to use their iPhones to no avail. The main hangar was dim and everyone was bumping into each other. All TIE fighter takeoffs were delayed. Electricians frantically searched for a way to get the power back on.

Things were the worst on the bridge. Kylo Ren and General Hux were having a heated argument in the dark while officers and stormtroopers looked on awkwardly from their seats.

" _DID YOU USE UP ALL OF THE CAT FOOD?!_?" Hux roared angrily at Ren. " _MY POOR MILLY WILL STARVE! BY JOVE, SHE HASN'T EATEN SINCE NOON!_ " Millicent the ginger cat was standing at his feet, and on the contrary, she was quite full. She lazily licked her paws and lay down at her owner's feet.

" _NO, I DIDN'T,_ " Ren snarled back. _"MY BOB HASN'T EATEN IN WEEKS!_ " Bob didn't look hungry at all. He lazed on the floor, mouth open, showing off his long white incisors. His green eyes gleamed in the dark.

Suddenly, there was a sickening dull _THUMP_ that seemed to shake the bridge of the ship.

"What was that?" Hux asked nervously, dropping his mad facade. His face looked like one of those you might see in one of those low-budget horror movies where there's lots of fake blood. Ren subsequently did the same, putting on a scared face. "Was it a shark? A picture frame? Are the rathtars gonna get us? Is it _JAWS_?! AAAARGH!" He dove behind his chair and cowered there, nibbling a piece of bacon. He was a nervous, sobbing wreck.

"Sir, it came from the window," an officer offered. He pointed to one of the transparisteel windows. Rain slammed mercilessly against it as thunder boomed in the background.

"I'll go look." Ren bravely put on his HELMET, not knowing that metal conducts electricity and he would have a higher chance of becoming barbecue. He ignited his lightsaber and headed for the door.

It was quite a long walk to the closest door that led outside, since the _Finalizer_ was quite large and it wasn't a boat. The dim hallways were only lit by the crackly red glow of Ren's lightsaber, which he held fearfully with an iron grip. Sweat dripped down his face.

When he finally got to the door, he could literally hear the pounding rain and thunder through five feet of reinforced metal alloy. Lightsaber gripped tightly as ever, Ren unlocked the door. It creaked like the lid of a coffin.

Instantly, he was hit in the face with rain, rain, rain, and rain. The water poured down in sheets, like someone had opened a spigot in the sky and forgot to turn it off (and face the consequences of getting the water bill). The ground was gloppy mud and looked like manure. On closer inspection, Ren saw enormous mutated earthworms crawling slimily through the mud. He cringed.

It was nearly impossible to see through the waterlogged helmet. Ren wished that he had windshield wipers on the visor. That would've made things easier.

He took a step forward. _SQUISH_. Another step. _SKLOSH_. This continued till he reached the bridge of the _Finalizer._ He quickly realized where the noise had come from.

A pigeon, sprawled spread-eagle on the ground, lay unconscious with its face in the mud. Its feathers were soaked and dirty. It seemed to be breathing, but only slightly. He figured it must have flew into the window by accident and gotten a concussion.

Ren, having a soft spot for animals, took off his helmet, scooped up the pigeon, and plopped him (he decided that the pigeon was a "him") in the helmet like a nest.

Just then a bright white lance of lightning struck down ten feet from where Ren was standing, and burned a gaping hole in the ground. The burn was quickly soothed by the pouring rain.

He made his way back to the door and opened it again, gingerly holding the pigeon in one hand. Just then he noticed how soaked he was. There was a gathering puddle of muddy water on the floor.

He began his way back to the bridge as he tried to comfort the pigeon, who had just came to.

"It's okay, little guy, you're in good hands now," he said softly to the bird, who was too weak to do anything. "Here." He took a hot pack from his belt and put the pigeon on it. The pigeon promptly pooped on the pack.

By the time Ren was back at the bridge, the pigeon had made the inside of his helmet look like a toilet. Runny white-and-black poo was everywhere in it, and a missed shot had ended up on the visor and another one on the voice modulator, which made it short-circuit.

Hux had come out of his hidey-hole and examined the pigeon. "A pigeon, eh?" he said. "Good. I thought we were doomed."

"I know what I'll name him," said Ren.

"Seriously? You're gonna _name_ him? He's just a pigeon," Hux scoffed.

Ren, paying no attention to what the redhead general was saying, continued. "I'll name you…hmm…Jackson. Jackson Davies Anderson Ren-Solo." The pigeon bobbed his head up and down, his red eyes showing consent with his new name.

"Coo," said Jackson. (Translation: You know, I do think I'm named after the famous pop singer, right? Not the author's crush?)

Just then the power blinked back on. All the officers and stormtroopers cheered.

"Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!" They threw their black hats in the air.

"Let's get outta here," said Ren.

"Yes, sir!" everyone echoed.

And with a great rumble, the mighty _Finalizer_ took off and left the raging storm behind on the dreary planet.

The End!

I do hope you enjoyed!


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